Let's cut to the chase, New Year's Eve is the worst time to be single and alone, and wanting a companion during the holiday makes perfect sense.
Beside the beach, a beautiful sunset, cocktails, and exotic foods, playing a couple with a “holiday boyfriend” completes the perfect combination of a holiday romance. Yep, he is a guy that you have a love fling with during a vacation break. The deal is sweet, romantic and not causing any emotional baggage.
Or is it actually becoming something? You explore foreign places together, you taste strange food together, get drunk in a smoky bar together, share confessions, passions and dreams of your future life together. It is intoxicating and the feeling is inevitable.
Now it is rolling around to the end of the "honeymoon," but you are not sure how to end a beautiful but short-lived holiday crush. It might be a little sad; both of you like each other, or you wouldn't have become involved, right?
However strong our determination not to expect too much from a vacation fling is, somehow we find ourselves wondering at some point: Could this last? It's hard not to get emotionally involved. Even though you enjoyed the time together a lot, it would be unfair and totally unrealistic to pretend it can continue back in everyday "real-life." We can't all live out the The Note Book fantasy, when Rachel McAdams managed to live happily ever after with Ryan Gosling only after a short summer love affair.
The trouble with holiday boyfriends happens when we persist in trying to make them something they are not. An overseas fling can be a beautiful thing, but that doesn’t mean the charmingly cocky guy with a cute accent you spend the break with is turning out to be “the one.” He might have five other girlfriends somewhere else, and you will never know. Be rational, enjoy the flattery, but don’t be taken in. When the emotion is building up, keep reminding yourself that it is most likely will never last. There are no long-term promises and it is sadly too good to be true.
Away from the pressure of everyday life, the ideal holiday romance should be relaxing, fun, adventurous, and forgotten the moment we step on the plane home. You are sure to be jealous of his next girlfriend, but the feeling will be temporary. The chances are the love will fade as quickly as your tan - so cherish the time, live in the moment but be prepared to let go. Holiday romance should stay just where it started: on holiday. Maybe someday you’ll cross paths again with your holiday boyfriend. And as time passes, it is always nice to have a friend you know in another part of the world.
Have you ever had a holiday boyfriend? Leave your response in the comments below, or share it with Dating Junkie on Twitter with hashtag #datingjunkie.
You and your partner can always find pleasure together - even when you're not in the same place
Laura is a 31-year-old user experience designer in Singapore. She met her boyfriend Frederick when he was working in the Marina Bay Sands for a year. After they dated for eight months, Fred had to go back to his home country.
So far, Laura has visited England twice, and Fred also comes back to Singapore every four months. However, such separation can be tough. After all, it's difficult to feel close to someone you can't touch.
Texting, phone calls, and video calls are staples for a long-distance relationship. To make the relationship work, maintaining intimacy and sharing sexual pleasure are also essential elements. Thanks to this interconnected world, most couples are familiar with sexting, webcams, and phone sex.
Laura and Fred often schedule a date night and work around time differences in a creative way. They also have a sexy ritual when they turn off all distractions and get loose. Last Christmas, Laura and Fred found out one more way to spice up their long-distance rendezvous.
They bought Lovense Max and Nora, the world’s first pair of his-and-hers sex toys that react to each other’s motions. Unlike any other app-controlled products, Lovense is specially designed four couples. For him, there is Lovense Max, which aims to help him feel as if he is experiencing the real thing. Lovense Nora is a dual-action vibrator for her. Both of Max and Nora can respond to each other and interact with each other. Once connected to the app, each toy will simulate the intensity and motion of his/her partner’s movement. If Max moves faster, then Nora rotates faster, vice versa, just like in real life.
If you and your partner are in different locations, Lovense is the perfect long distance relationship gift. It can be controlled from anywhere! Play together, even when you are apart.
Buy the gift that keeps on giving here and share your review below.
A first date might be tough, but it is actually the easy part. What is hard is to get a second date. We’ve all been there. When your blind dates finally look like their pictures, the date went well, but then you’ve never heard from the person again.
What went wrong? Here are six must-read articles that will guide you to a second date.
#1. Things not to do on the first date
Wondering if your first date behavior might be annoying your date? Here are the biggest pet peeves for first dates, according to both men and women…
“The Biggest Pet Peeves On First Dates, Because It’s Seriously Time To Put Your Phone Down”
Written by Amanda Chatel for Bustle
#2. Reasons there is no second date
Dating coaches and matchmakers from around the country share nine simple reasons you were ghosted right off the bat.
#3. The first date playbook
Tips on where to find dates, what to eat and drink… what to talk about… how to time it… and how it should end.
“Here’s What You Need To Do To Get A Second Date”
Written by Lovin Dublin according to Singles in America survey
#4. Seven ways to get a second date
Coffee Meets Bagel, surveyed more than 1,000 couples who met on their app to see what makes for a great first date that is more likely to lead to a second date… Could there really be an intricate science to getting to a second date?
“7 Ways To Get A Second Date, Because Playing Hard To Get Is Overrated”
Written by Amanda Chatel for Bustle
#5. Three signs to avoid a second date. Sometimes, you can’t force the chemistry
If these three things happen on the first date, save your time and don’t plan a second.
“If These 3 Things Happen On A First Date, There Probably Won’t Be A Second”
Written by Christina Caballero for elitedaily.com
#6. What if you are the one who wants to avoid the second date?
Went on a date with someone and you can already tell that he/she is not the one? This article shows you the best way to turn down a second date.
So, did you manage to land a second date? Share your success stories below.
Despite loads of intelligent, attractive, young single people, dating in San Francisco is not easy. Dating apps might easily match you with potential dates but also make the process of dating harder than in real life: the first text message, the first blind date, the awkward conversation, and the abrupt ending.
Having a big, strong ego could be a good thing when you are dating in SF. To survive the SF dating scene, you need to know what to expect from it if you are going to make it work.
#1. Know what you want
Just like everything in life, you have to find what you want from a date. Do you want a platonic friendship, a romantic relationship, friends with benefits, a painless hookup, or other possibilities? There are many options out there, but each person wants a different type of commitment. Especially in SF, people are more liberal and open to many forms of dating.
Instead of wasting each other's time, I've built a habit of asking: "What are you looking for?" when I chat with someone before the first date. I know what I want, and I need my partner to be aware of his. We should try to focus on people that we might have connections with, rather than endlessly swiping right.
#2. Pick your favorite app
After you know what you want, you better choose an app that will work best for you. Tinder is, of course, more straightforward, so don't be surprised if many are looking for booty calls. Bumble has been labeled as the “feminist Tinder,” allowing women to make the first move, and yet setting a time limit of 24 hours from the time they match before the connection disappears. Coffee Meets Bagel tends to aim for a more serious relationship. Women will get options of men who already liked them, which means no more guessing game. There are OkCupid, Happn, Raya, Match.com, and other options.
Don't get confused, check out this article to find the right dating app for you.
#3. Google yourself before your date googles you
My friend calls it “pre-dating” and not “stalking.” It is a short research to double check if the date is not a scam.
In the past, I've searched every possible shred of information I can find about a guy that I like from his Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, LinkedIn, or articles about him. Okay, that one was stalking, I admit.
Regardless of the reason, people do type in their date’s name on Google. I suggest that you Google yourself. Make sure you don't put out unnecessary or dangerous information out there and set your Facebook to private.
#4. Grab a coffee or drink in public on the first date
Coffee Meets Bagel's poll shows that having overpriced coffee at an artisanal, organic coffee shop in Mission is the typical SF first date.
Generally, within the first 60 seconds of the date, you will get a sense whether there is a possibility of friendship or romantic relationship. If there is no connection, the worse thing possible is to get stuck with a bad date for hours. So keep the first date short, you can always extend it if things go well. And yes, always meet in public, just because you don't want to let a serial killer into your house.
#5. Be Genuine
During a blind date, there is often the temptation to try to be what you think the other person will want since they don’t know you in real life.
Be genuine with your profile picture, at least keep it close to the real life. Be genuine with your date about what you like and dislike. Don't pretend to be a yogi or a vegan just because your date is.
#6. Keep the distance in mind
If he/she lives across the bridge, it’s basically long distance since Lyft would cost more than 30 bucks.
#7. Don’t get too emotional, they are most likely going to move
SF natives are as rare as a unicorn. Most people moved to SF for work or study, and not everyone is planning to live in the city forever. So unless you want to move back to Boston, Essex, or Beijing, make sure to not get too attached to anyone you date in SF before you know his or her plans.
#8. Expect he/she travels a lot
Let’s say they do live in the city, but they are never around. People in SF always seem to be traveling. It happened multiple times when I had a few great dates with someone, and then he had to travel for work. Things ended up with him sending me pictures from Amsterdam, Japan, or Vegas until things tent to fizzle out due to no one was ever around long enough to get to know each other.
#9. Let’s move in together… really?
When relationships do happen, couples tend to move in together quickly. Mostly it is because rent in SF is more affordable when it is being split two ways.I've seen multiple friends that are stuck being roommates with their exes. So, make sure when you do move in together, it is because you are ready to take your relationship to the next level.
#10. Looking to commit? Beware of the “Peter Pan Syndrome”
Being single in one’s 40s is totally normal in SF. People are coming to San Francisco to grow their profession, to travel and to experience life; they aren’t looking for their soulmate.Thousands of young individuals from around the world prolong their independence while putting their careers as number one priority. They want to make money to buy a nice condo, a convertible, the latest gadgets, and never grow up. Your dates could love their jobs more than you and most likely you will feel the same.
#11. Remember, “ghosting” is not personal
Have you been “ghosted” before? Well, you are not alone. I’ve been ghosted, and it happens to everyone nowadays.
Urban Dictionary defines ghosting as: “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just get the hint and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.”
The ultimate silent treatment is one of the most common endings to great date stories. Playing dead can be rude and disrespectful but don't take this personally, and try not to get offended. People are just afraid of confrontation and avoidance seems like an easy solution. We also never know what the other person is going through in his/her life. When my dates are ghosting me, usually I pretend that they are dead instead of acting like an insecure nutcase. After all, they are ghosts. Let them deal with their problems in their afterlife.
#12. Unmatch = Block!
Some people are simply mean and offensive. There are many weird people out there. I’ve got people that would pester me with messages all day. I’ve received numerous unwanted sexual pictures and multiple rude messages with no reason. I've also had a date that kept messaging me asking for money. Sometimes, blocking is necessary.
I know this list may sound negative, but the reason that you should know these facts is to prepare you to date in San Francisco with the right mindset. When you enter an online dating scene with the wrong attitude and unrealistic expectations, it can make you feel insecure when the problem is not with you. After you get used to the SF dating culture, you will survive the swings of online dating. I believe that you can learn a lot about yourself from the experience, or perhaps you will find your heart in San Francisco.
For children, Halloween is a day for trick or treating. For adults, Halloween is the ultimate holiday for hooking up: you have an excuse to get drunk while wearing favorite cosplays. It is the weird world of fucking while dressed as Harley Quinn, Pokemon, Dark Vader, Magic Mike, or Wonder Woman. Even the most sexless costume still got the wearers laid, since everyone is out to have a little fun on Halloween.
That being said, in the wild atmosphere of the holiday, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and do something you regret. Here we break down the shenanigans of surviving Halloween hookup. Read this do’s and don’ts list before you get out there, and get ready to live out your darkest fantasy!
#1. Do: Role play
Halloween is one of the rare moments in life when you can wear your fetish in public and be applauded for it. It all starts with a costume. Play it sexy, funny, or scary, totally up in your hand. Since you’ve already got the costume, why not play the part?
#2. Do: Keep your hand to yourself
Just because it’s Halloween and people are half-naked, that doesn’t justify your right to touch the hot stranger next to you. Seriously, groping without permission is not cool. Always ask first!
#3. Do: Talk to strangers
Are you shy in real life and always hide behind your Tinder persona? Now is the chance to be a social butterfly and try new things. Halloween offers the easiest conversation starter. A hint: compliment their costumes! Ripping it off them could be just around the corner.
#4. Do: Ask for one-on-one time before you go home together
People go incognito during Halloween, but you don’t want to wake up the next morning beside someone that you totally regret sleeping with. Remember, Halloween has “costume goggles.” Drop the character for one second; it’s time to remove their mask and do a little background check. Ask them if they are seeing anyone. We want to have fun, but still with a conscience.
#5. Do: Own your stride of pride
The only thing worse than doing the walk of shame after hooking up the night before is doing it in a costume. Catching an Uber home in a wrinkled sexy police costume is wayyy more obvious. I say, own it.
#6. Don’t: Be a Garfield
This year Halloween falls on a Monday, so you will mostly celebrate the weekend before the holiday. Hooking up is great but in reality, you still have to work on Monday morning. So try to skip the late-night Halloween party on Sunday if you plan to attend a private sleepover party.
#7. Don’t: Be a jerk
Mind your own business. Don’t get judgey about what people wear and don’t make obscene comments on their choices. Just don’t.
#8. Don’t: Let your hook up out of your sight
There are only so many costumes to choose from – especially when you order them the last minute from Amazon Prime. Heaven knows how many people showing up to a Halloween party will be wearing the same outfit. Don’t let your bae out of your sight; you don’t want to catch the wrong Pikachu.
#9. Don’t: End up in a Halloween Internet scandal
You might find your perfect fling, and there is a fiesta in your pants. Smooching around is understandable, but just be aware that you are not Clark Kent, and people can still recognize you under your costume. So, don’t do anything in public that you’d mind being caught on camera.
#10. Don’t: Forget your pumpkin spice – flavored condoms
Be smart, always play it safe!
Halloween is just a month away. Now that you are emotionally prepared, it’s costume crunch time, people. Check out this guide on where to Find Halloween Costumes in San Francisco!